Date Yourself After Divorce
Maybe you just finalized your divorce or recently separated and you’re wanting to connect with new suitors right away. Guess who you should be dating? you! Yes it’s time to date yourself. Put that ice-cream down and turn off Netflix. Get excited about connecting with you because you have changed. There is no way to survive a divorce without changing. I recommend my clients date themselves for 6-12 months after a divorce.
5 ways to Date Yourself:
1.Date Yourself Traditional First Date– Take yourself out to dinner. Go buy a new outfit, get yourself some new makeup, and take your time getting ready just as you would with a date with someone else. Go to dinner, have a first date conversation with yourself. Who are you? What do you like to do? What are your hopes and dreams? What are you looking for in a partner? The best thing about this date, you get to order whatever you want (no worrying about spinach in your teeth).
2. Date Yourself Picnic- Treat yourself to a romantic picnic. Grab a book and some of that fancy cheese and crackers and a bottle of wine. An afternoon in nature is a good time to work on being present in your life, listen to the sounds, people watch. Lay on your blanket, close your eyes, and dream about your life.
3. Date Yourself New Adventure-Try a new adventure that you’ve wanted to try. Always wanted to go to zip-lining? Go, get out of that comfort zone, it’s not doing you any good. Intense and exciting situations release a cocktail of endorphins including dopamine which is associated with good feelings.
4. Date Yourself Class-Take a class. Get to know who you are by taking on a new intellectual or experiential challenge. Always wanted to learn piano, open craigslist and look for lessons. Maybe you’ve been putting off that class at the college that interested you because you’ve been so focused on your family or spouse. Guess what you are making time for yourself. The opportunities to take a class are endless and so is the growth potential. So get out there and get your french on.
5. Date Yourself Anniversary-A weekend away. Celebrate your self dating anniversary by going away for the weekend. Start planning a month in advance, get excited! Go some place you wish a partner would have taken you and check yourself into a hotel. Schedule a massage. Relish in your awesomeness, your growth
No cheating! Do not go on your self dates with the hope that someone will notice you all alone and ask you out on a date. Yes, you may be looking gorgeous and feeling great about yourself, but you are already on a date so stay faithful to yourself for the entire date.
Self dating is all about getting to know you again and trying new things. Most of all, our growth comes from our discomfort; so get out there and get uncomfortable.