8 Signs of Emotional Spending After a Divorce

Divorce is one of the most stressful experiences in life filled with extreme waves of feelings. Many people struggle to find healthy coping skills to combat the stressors of divorce. We may turn to emotional eating or emotional spending. Emotional spending is the act of shopping to improve our mood, deal with loneliness, and/ or improve our self esteem.

We are inundated with adds that create a picture of happiness with the purchase of their product. Isn’t that what were searching for after a divorce? Happiness! As we embark on our post life divorce we may feel the need to get new things, new clothes, new furniture, new makeup etc. Emotional spending is a sneaky sort of compulsion.

  1. You spend your money on things that make you feel good in the moment. After a bad day you come home and open your computer and start checking your favorite shopping sites. You find yourself purchasing things just to counter your bad day.                                  freestocks org 187367 unsplash 300x200 - 8 Signs of Emotional Spending After a Divorce.

  2. You notice yourself justifying your purchases, especially when deviating from your budget. If you notice yourself saying you deserve something or that you have been through a lot, you may be justifying your purchases. 

  3. When you look around your home you notice that it is filled with items. You may also notice the items are new or unused. Are half of the clothes in your closet new with tags on them? That could mean your buying beyond your needs or you are falling prey to marketing tricks. If you buy something on sale it doesn’t mean you saved anything, it just means you spent whatever the store deemed it was worth. That $100 item marked down to $40 doesn’t mean you saved $60, it means you spent $40. 

  4. Ignoring bills- When you are prioritizing shopping above paying some of your bills that is a sign that it is a problem. It may be more subtle than not paying rent but maybe a small medical bill or gym membership.

  5. Rebound spending- Maybe in the marriage there were a lot of rules around spending money. Having these rules may have felt very limiting. After a divorce you may notice that you are rebelling from the feeling of being controlled.

  6. You Purchase Status Items- As a way to stand out from others, you purchase items that signify your status. These are items that are known to display status or staying at the forefront of trends. There is a high knowing that most people don’t have theses items.                   melanie pongratz 694890 unsplash 300x225 - 8 Signs of Emotional Spending After a Divorce.

  7. Returning items- Do you find yourself returning more items than you usually do. Normally we return items due to a quality or fit issue, however it is a red flag if you are buying things and returning them because the initial high of the purchase wore off when you got home. Emotional shoppers often feel like they have to buy at least one thing so they may talk themselves into a purchase and get home and realize they don’t like the ugly purse they talked themselves into.

  8. You Shop to Feel Better About Yourself- After a divorce we enter a new world of dating. Emotional spenders that embark on dating will make purchases to increase their self esteem and make themselves feel better, even if it is only temporary. Often they chase this feeling that one outfit gave them and have set the bar too high. Now every date needs a new outfit, sunglasses, purse, shoes , etc.  claudia 595686 unsplash 300x234 - 8 Signs of Emotional Spending After a Divorce.

Emotional spending gets in the way of living your best life. The emotions have not been resolved they just have an expensive bandaid over them. I believe women deserve financial empowerment, especially after a divorce. How we think about money determines what we do about money. We are what we are today as a result of the choices we made yesterday.

If you are interested in a free group to become financially empowered, join here.

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