The divorce is final, at this point there is no going back in time and changing my marital status. I have accepted that I am divorced but I honestly don’t have a clue what to do with the ring.
Many women wonder what they should do with the ring after a divorce. I advise the women I work with to wait 6 months after the have made a decision to see if the decision still feels right after a bit of time. Once you sell or alter it there is no going back.
Often there is a knee jerk reaction to get rid of it. Wait, wait, wait. After the divorce cooling period make a decision that feels right for you now and will feel right 5 years down the road. Basically mitigate and guilt you may end up having if you make a hasty decision.
Once you have waited and feel like you are in a great frame of mind to decide what to do with the ring you have a few choices.
- Keep it. You may decide to keep the ring for sentimental reasons and to honor the beginning of your marriage. Or you may decide to keep it because you can see yourself passing it on to one of your children.
- Keep it but take it to a jeweler and turn it in to something else. I have seen women that have it reset into another ring, turn the stone into earrings or a necklace. Basically you can take something old and remodel it into something meaningful (basically what we are doing to our lives after divorce).
- Sell it. Maybe you decided that instead of holding onto this symbol of marriage you’ve decided that you want to sell it and use the money in a meaningful way. I know some women use it to pay down bills they acquired as a result of the divorce which leaves them feeling free from the weight of the financial and emotional costs of the marriage ending. One caveat to this plan is you may find that the ring loses value when trying to resell and it may be confusing to find a reputable place to sell the ring. There is quite a market to sell the ring, do your research to decide how you would like to handle the sale of the ring.
Of course the decision is incredibly personal and what works for one person doesn’t necessarily work for another. Check in with your motivation and if it feels good for you then it is the right decision.
I have a lovely wedding set that was custom designed for me to highlight my beautiful (but flawed) stone. While it is worth a lot I decided to keep my ring to pass on to my daughter (if she decides to marry and wants the ring). I decided to keep the band for myself to wear on my other hand when I want to.